To Sir W. Elford 16 Three Mile Cross September 9th 1820.

You will think your poor little Friend very naughty indeed, my dear Sir William if she do not sometimes write you two letters, so having made no vow by Styx this time, she will scribble.In ancient Greek history and mythology, gods or mortals who make oaths by the River Styx are understood to be strongly bound not to break them. The penalty for breaking an oath was to drink the poisonous water of this mythical river, which would stupefy the oath-breaker for an entire year. Having nothing to say my dear Sir William is such an old story between us that there are is no need of apologies on that score. I really think we go on quite as well without a subject as with one--the cobweb spins out to a good size--rather flimsy to be sure, & not very durable--but there it is looking very happy & comfortable these bright autumn mornings-- & the poor little round spider snugs herself up in her hole and seems proud of her handywork & as soon as one is finished away begins another.--So she shall spin on. Moreover, it behooves me to pay my court very spiderously, or I shall have my nose quite put of out of joint by that formidable rival Lady Madelina. I did wait on her as I told you I should, & think with you that she is a most delightful woman. I did not expect to find her still so very handsome--but the best parts of beauty, grace intelligence & and goodhumour good humour are those which last the longest, & and that pretty Scotch voice is enchanting. We talked a great deal of you--& of Devonshire--which she admires with her whole heart--& she says things of you--It is very well that Mr. Palmer was out of hearing--there is no love lost beween you I assure you. In short I was quite charmed with every thing about her but her Queen madness which burst forth suddenly on the appearance of & sent me off in a hurry. Had she this frenzy-fever in Devonshire or has she caught it from her husband? He & his brother members & his precious constituents are alike insane upon this subject. Indeed to do Reading justice it never is behindhand in any folly stirring. They had a meeting to address the Queen--& voted said address--& sent up their worthy members to present it--& up they went in all their paraphernalia--& the gracious Queen never spoke to them! Is not this famous? Never said a word, shoved the answer unread into their hands, held her tongue & marched off. "Served them just right--did not she Mary?" Said said Mrs. Monck to me when she told me the story--"a couple of simpletons. I only wish the whole meeting had been there to have partaken of the compliment." Mrs. Monck you see is sane. Did I ever talk to you of the Moncks? He is a very extraordinary man--a great Grecian--& more like an old philosopher than anything you ever saw--I defy anything or anybody to put him out of humour--he has not of course though a clever man, any thing much of Charles Fox's powers or eloquence, but he is more like him in point of character than any man that ever lived--full of kindheartedness & of a tolerant humanity--more generally beloved by man woman & child than any person I ever heard of--Dividing his whole time between literature & usefulness & family affection. His wife is a pretty lively chatty woman kind & good humored--entirely without her husband's husband's largeness & liberality of mind--not even understanding the breadth & depth of his character--but in whom good habits & kindly prejudices produce nearly the same effect. She loves his old friends because they are old friends, & is good to the poor because she has been used to it. be charitable.--She has returned from a three years & a half tour through France Italy Switzerland & Germany without having brought back a single new feeling or left behind one old one. She is so entirely unchanged in mind & person as to produce an effect more extraordinary & surprising than could have been the resulted from the greatest alteration. She took up her Coley habits, as if she had only laid them aside the night before with her clothes, & the presence of a sweet little girl of three years old born in France & and not speaking a word of English seems necessary to convince one that the Mother has ever set her foot on the Continent. This identity of character has a great charm with me--I never liked Mrs. Monck half so well in my life as since she returned so perfectly the same as she went. Besides we agree like two drops of water. She hates her husbands husband's parliamenting. So do I. She sickens at the name of Queen Caroline. So do I. She thinks Mortimer Common the prettiest place in the world. So do I. She detests Reading and its doings. So do I.--Reading is at present Queen mad. It reads & talks & dreams & lies of nothing else--& engrafts a clumsy and awkward licentiousness on its original vulgarity & dullness. After all the crying evil of this frightful enquiry is its tendency to confound right & wrong. Those who dislike the King's immorality think themselves bound by the duty of party to palliate the much grosser and more horrible conduct of the Queen, & we hear of "little indiscretions" & "too great condescensions" & such paltering with vice from the very lips of the stern mentors who thunder at the crimes of Kings & the wickedness of Ministers. This must be wrong--there can only be one Virtue & one Wickedness. Besides the Queen's conduct defence throws a stain & a slur upon womanhood--She seeks to cover her enormous crime with a cloak of innocence & purity & profanes the sacred & holy name of matronly virtue by asserting her claim to it. Chastity is become a byeword byword & a jest--She is to womanly purity, what a false prophet is to religion. She can not alter the eternal truth--but she can give mockers & scoffers a pretence to doubt it's its existence. Many years must pass away before the effect of this ceases & modesty shall become again a holy thing. I am astonished when I hear a woman vindicate the Queen. Do tell me what you think on this subject? These wavy lines appear to represent a change in paragraph and subject (and in this case also a change from one day's writing to a later one). It seems possible that Mitford uses this metamark to indicate such a change without wasting the space incurred by a paragraph break.

Sept. 13.--Since writing the above I have spent a day at Coley & extracted from Mr. Monck rather more of the Royal Visit than his wife could do, partly by cross-examination--& partly from an effect of character. "You are bad enough, Mary," said quoth he "but not quite so bitter as my wife." She really did speak to them--She said "You do me honour--it is an excellent address"--(I dare say she thought so for of all the fulsome nonsense that has been penned on her none this surpassed!)--her presence was announced by a prodigious giggling chattering & romping outside the door--like a parcel of boys let loose from school--which suddenly ceased & she entered as gravely as Mrs. Liston in Queen Dollalolla . Mitford is conflating a celebrated role in a burletta with the production itself: Sarah Tyrer Liston, as Sarah Tyrer before her marriage in 1807, was widely celebrated for her performance of Queen Dollalolla in a comic opera adaptation of . She continued her acting career as Mrs. Liston until 1822. Her dress we had a great deal of fun about from the delicious ignorance of the describer. It was in the midst of the Court mourning & he put himself to charges for a black suit, the coat he had to go to the Pope's Court If Monck paid a visit to the Pope's Court, presumably this was the court of Pope Pius VII of 1800-1823 . Napoleon forced the Pope and his Cardinals into exile to the province of Savona between 1809 and 1813, but was restored to Rome by signing a treaty. It seems likely that Monck would have visited the Pope's Court during his time in Europe in the previous decade. being unluckily of a pure colour--but the Lady herself was it appears in colours--"fawn Colour Mary--the colour of that Cow!"--How was it made: . "So"--buttoning up his Coat--Of a Man's Coat--pray was the best of her apparel--"Don't be foolish--a woman's coat"--a grey coat--the thing you all wear in winter" --a Pelisse?-- "Yes--a fawn coloured pelisse--garnished with gold!"--

Have you read ? I have just finished it--disappointed--because as every alternate book of his is commonly excellent & the last was bad I had made up my mind that this should be good--& good it would be from any body anybody else, but he has accustomed us to such writing that mere mediocrity will not satisfy us. After all it is remarkably pleasant reading--quite as free from the peculiar faults as the striking beauties of the Author--no ghost--no prophecies--only one old woman & not much of her--& no torture scene--a very agreeable book, but not one which as a first work would have made a reputation like or .--The great fault of the story is that the subject is in fact a bad one. Mary Queen of Scots is a person of whom with all her sins we have dreamt all our life long -- . There is not a creature of any imagination who has not made her romance in his own mind long before now--the Bodleian Mary all beauty & all grace, the love of all men--the envy of all women--She who makes possible all that has been feigned of nymph or Goddess--there is no writing up to what one fancies of Her! Nobody has ever accomplished this feat--no one ever will--Schiller--Alfieri--the Ettrick Shepherd--three Master Spirits have all failed when they wrote of Queen Mary Mitford refers to Friedrich Schiller's play, which debuted in Weimar, Germany in June 1800 , Vittorio Alfieri's tragedy performed in 1778 , and James Hogg's poem, , a long verse narrative published in 1813 .--but I think the failure of Walter Scott the most egregious of any--he takes her down from her pedestal--makes her scold--disenchants the lady Dulcinea del Toboso--wakens one from one's pleasant dream--brings a light befo re At the end of this line and the next, a couple of characters have been obliterated by the removal of the seal. one's magic lantern & puts out the pretty pictures--Now th at is not a friend's office--nor a poet's--as the critics I suppose will tell him. Meanwhile the book is pleasant reading in spite of this fault & another--which is that all the plot which is not Queen Mary is occupied by a twin brother & sister confusion--like the Sebastian & Viola of . Now it is not wise in Sir Walter Scott to remind his readers of malice prepense of & worthy to be his last work--moreover Catherine is as little like the delicious Viola as Henry is like the frank & generous Sebastian. Notwithstanding which the book is a pleasant book, as you will think & say.

Have you seen Mrs. Graham's Three Months residence in the Mountains east of Rome? (bad overgrown title!) Very entertaining--particularly the Surgeon's escape from the Banditti--the manner in which his poor Townsmen stripped themselves of all for his ransom & then went to Church in procession to thank God for his deliverance quite makes one in love with the Italians. Mrs. Graham by the way is the lady respecting whom some time ago made so curious a mistake. She went with her husband to India & published a Journal of her residence there--mentioning the aforementioned husband in almost every page--but the Critic wanted a book to cut up & chose Maria Graham's prefacing his review by saying "This work is we suppose the product of some young lady who went out on a matrimonial speculation & having failed in that design is now come back to try the book market"--& so forth.Mitford is almost certainly recalling the review of Graham's work likely by John Barrow published in as article 8 of the December 1812 issue. The review begins, "',' by a young lady who, probably, went thither, like most young ladies, to procure a husband instead of information, is a literary curiosity which we are not disposed to overlook." On the conjectured authorship of the review, see The Quarterly Review Archive.--My dear Sir William you must write to me soon--You will confess that I have sent you nonsense enough this bout.--Has Miss Elizabeth finished the roses & oak boughs? (You see I have not had a chat with Lady Madelina for nothing!) Has Miss Elford recovered her parrot?--& above all Does Miss Welsford'sWe have not identified Miss Welsford, but speculate that she might be a friend of Sir William's daughters. health continue to improve?--Kindest regards from all here.--

Ever my dear friend Most sincerely & affectionately your's M.R. Mitford

Reading September fifteen 1820 Sr Wm Elford Bart Bickham J. B. Monck--Plymouth