Have you forgiven me, my dear friend, for not writing to you at the time you fixed? And will you forgive me now for writing only to say that I will write again when I have more time, better spirits, & better news--if ever the two latter may come to me. I am worn out with mental labour labor & hope deferred--& begin for the first time in my life to know what the ladys ladies' complaint called nervous means.--You must not for a moment blame Charles Kemble--He is true & kind & good as ever man that lived--blame nobody--blame only the anomalous & extraordinary state of the theatre in which the two great Actors do not even speak to each other. Charles Kemble means to bring out in about six weeks--& has no doubt of doing so--he looks upon it as the main prop of his theatre for the season--This I know--but I dread the time--for I know--at least I deeply fear that Macready will not play the Doge & that it will occasion another tremendous feud & end probably in the abandonment of the Tragedy. This proceeds from no ill will for me (remember that this is in strict confidence & must not be shewn shown to any human being.)--for Macready has actually this last week looked over a new play of mine which is in the hands of a friend in Town & which I never dreamt of his seeing--& admires & praises it to the skies & would give the world to substitute it for --Now this play has no character for Charles Kemble--so that between the two great Actors each my warm friend--each the ardent admirer of the two plays it seems likely that neither will come out--of course I have my resource in Drury Lane, but where unless they be deeply pre-engaged & even if they be there is small doubt but will be gladly accepted--but I dread the previous struggle at Covent Garden--the being involved in these terrible quarrels--the being forced to abandon Charles Kemble who has been so very kind to me--This may be averted by Mr. Macready's relenting--I hope to God it will--I believe he would do any thing anything to serve the Author of except play the Doge to C. Kemble's --& yet the Doge is really the better part of the two--but would shew show off Charles.--Now is not this enough to put me past all hope & comfort? I have only been one morning into Reading for these three months--& except on that one morning, have never been within the walls of any house but this--never seen a human being except Mr. Crowther--& have so entirely lost my spirits that except for the fulfilment of my Magazine & Newspaper engagements I really cannot can do nothing but sit & sigh over my needle work. I am not ill--& I take great care of myself & walk five miles every day--it is over--exertion in finishing --anxiety & that most dreadful of feelings fear--pecuniary fear for those I love. But yet I will not fear--I thank God that my efforts are crowned if not with success with that which is the pledge of success improvement--my prose articles are read & praised by those whose praise is an honour--& in the drama I feel my progress--I feel that if God grant me health & life & intellect I shall one day write a great Tragedy. Forgive this long detail--I owed it to you to tell you why I no longer sent you the letters you were so good as to like. I cannot--& once more let me caution you that this in strict confidence. Above all do not mention it to what I wrote to any one anyone with a view of making interest with Mr. 14 Jany 1823. Mr. Macready. "Mr." appears as the last word on page four and also the first word on page five. His temper is such that if he thought I complained of him he would throw me off instantly--whilst on the other hand, he is of a noble & generous nature, & may perhaps of his own accord give up his own prejudices to forward the views of a young woman in whose character & works he takes an interest. Pray do not mention the affair my theatrical affairs to any human being--No one can help me but Macready, & with him I have the best possible interest both in his own feelings & in his bosom friend (Mr. Talfourd) who is also mine & who knows exactly my situation & feelings. Do not mention it to a living being--I would not have Macready think I complained of him for the world. Mr. and Mrs. Dickinson & the little heiress are spending their xmas in Somersetshire at a fine old house This is likely the family manor house at Queen Charlton. of his--which she has only visited once or twice since her marriage--they are all well--I had a delightful letter from her a day or two ago--so I had from Mr. Haydon There is a possibilty that a word or two are missing, as the paper has been torn under the seal. We speculate that the missing words could be "a letter" or "a note" that Mitford may have received from Mr. Haydon. on the birth of his son & heir. Have you read This is likely , written between 1558 and 1562 . This lively account of Cellini's life has been famed as one of the most colorful and delightful autobiographies ever written. Mitford may have read the version published in 1823 under the title of . of Benvenuto Cellini--If not, Do! It is a most delightful piece of hair brained auto-biography--I quite agree with you & the as to Washington Irvine Irving 's Mitford probably means Washington Irving, whose episodic novel was published in 1822 in two volumes. book--there are pretty things in it--but the sentiment is cloying--& altogether after having read one Vol. one has no great desire to take up the second. Mr. Galt's new novel has great power but is very disagreeable--& yet there is an idiot--& and old Scotchwoman both of which are as finely drawn as Scott could do them--these are nearly the only books I have read lately)--How is Mr. Elford I noted down the other day from a Review the title of a book which I transcribe--perhaps he would like to see it--It was very highly spoken of--on second thoughts I enclose it in a separate slip of paper.--(Farewell my dear & kind Friend--forgive the sadness & the egotism of this letter--it has been a relief to me--I am sure of your sympathy & will write to you as soon as I know any thing certain & when I consider that Macready is really a noble creature, that he thinks very highly of both plays & that he knows as exactly as you now do my situation & my feelings I have really hopes .--Write to me if you can--Present my best wishes to your dear daughter & to Mr. Elford This could refer to either the brother or the son of William Elford, both named Jonathan. Since she is also mentioning the daughter here, this is likely the son. & to Lady Elford if she will accept of them & believe me always most faithfully & affectionately your's. Kindest regards from Papa & Mama.